Potty Mouth

DISCLAIMER: This post contains some disturbing descriptions. Not recommended for the weak-minded or feeble-stomached.

So, we had to buy a new toilet this last week. No, nothing was wrong with the toilet, other than the fact that it had been clogged for several days. We'd done the flush/wait rotation a ton of times before moving on to the plunger. Nothing. Still clogged. The water (or whatever else was in the toilet) would eventually eventually, ever so slowly, after the course of hours, pass through, but there was no foreseeable end to this clog. I bought a new plunger, hoping that was the cause of our problems. Nope. Nothing. Then, after doing some online digging, I realized we might need to get an auger. So, we did, and we tried it out. This auger got all bent out of shape and didn't solve the problem, so I figured we might need a better auger. We went out and got a better, more heavy-duty one, but we were still hitting a wall (literally). In fact, after using the auger, the clog got worse, to where nothing would drain. It was so bad, in fact, that at 11:30 pm I had to drive to Walmart to use their restroom. The next morning we called the plumber. Unable to dislodge the clog through all the usual methods (i.e. the ones we had previously tried), he had to remove the toilet to inspect the pipes. What did he find? Some unfortunate blue and green toy had been lodged in the bend of the pipe, and without  breaking the toilet apart, there was no way to get it out. So, we had to get a brand new toilet! Ahhhh...Gabe!

While the toilet drama was going on, I was giving Gabe a bath one night. I had left the room to go change Rubi, or throw clothes in the laundry basket, or something. When I went back in, the water looked murky, like it usually does when he takes the bar of soap and chips and whittles it down into little tiny pieces. It took me a few minutes to realize that the murky water wasn't the usual green soap-like color; it was brown! Yes. He had done a number in the tub, and was slowly chipping and whittling down the pieces just like he does with the soap. Revolting! The cleanup was horrible, and then the next day, I had to clean the tub again because that's where the toilet went while the plumber was inspecting it.

Needless to say, we had a messy week, and Gabe is never aloud in the bathroom again. Ever.